Stone Face Blog / Stone Face Vloggers
Being the musings of Your Obedient Servant, Great Stone Face, moose enthusiast.
- Name: Great Stone Face
- Location: Northern Virginia, United States
I'm interested in humor contests, the Washington Redskins, the Boston Red Sox, the Washington Nationals, University of New Hampshire hockey and football, and Ohio State University football and hockey -- and, of course, moose.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Two Coney Dogs
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Juan Williams Gets It; Brit Hume Doesn't
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Labels: "John McCain"
Friday, August 22, 2008
McCain's Poor Judgment
What McCain Really Thinks of Mitt Romney
From January 2008
Transcript of anti-Romney robo-call:
"I'm calling with an urgent Mitt Romney voter alert." "We care deeply about traditional values and protecting families and need someone who will not [inaudible] in the White House, ending abortion, preserving the sanctity of marriage, [inaudible] the trash on the airwaves and attempts to ban God from every corner of society. These issues are core to our being."
"Mitt Romney seems to think he can fool us." "He supported abortion on-demand, even wrote a law mandating tax payer funding for abortions." "He says he changed his mind but he still hasn't changed the law." "He told gay organizers in Massachusetts he would be a stronger advocate for [inaudible] rights than even Ted Kennedy, now it's something different."
"Unfortunately, on issue after issue, Mitt Romney has treated special issues voters as fools, thinking they won't catch on." "Sorry Mitt, we know you're aren't trust-worthy on the most important issues and you aren't a conservative."
"Paid for by John McCain 2008"
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Eight Years Ago
- The United States had sustained the longest peacetime economic expansion in history. Over 20 million jobs were created. We had the lowest unemployment rate in 30 years, the lowest poverty rate in 20 years, and the highest home ownership rate on record.
- The United States had eliminated its $290 billion budget deficit, produced back to back surpluses and paid off over $140 billion of the national debt. This resulted in lower interest rates on mortgages and car loans – an effective tax cut of $2,000 for a family with a $100,000 mortgage.
- The United States had reversed ethnic cleansing in Kosovo by leading NATO alliance to victory and returning nearly 1 million refugees to their homes. The President also had worked to broker peace in the Middle East, bring peace to Bosnia, restore democracy to Haiti, and end hostilities in Northern Ireland.
- President Clinton kept his promise to reform the welfare system by supporting work and responsibility, moving millions to work--1.3 million in 1998 alone, reducing the welfare rolls by more than half to the lowest level in 30 years, and nearly doubling child support collections.
- Congress passed the Brady Law to stop nearly half a million felons, fugitives, and domestic abusers from getting guns. They had enacted a tough crime bill that funded 100,000 community police officers and banned assault weapons--helping to reduce the overall crime rate for the seventh year in a row, the longest consecutive decline ever recorded.
- The Nation had created new options to pay for college, such as HOPE Scholarships and AmeriCorps, opening the doors of college to all Americans.
- The President enacted an initiative to hire 100,000 quality teachers to reduce class size; slots for 200,000 new Head Start students; after-school and summer-school programs; GEAR-UP college preparation opportunities; Internet connections for America's classrooms; and strong leadership that resulted in higher standards for practically every American student and school.
- The President had strengthened Medicare by adding preventive benefits, cracking down on fraud and waste and extending the life of the Trust Fund from 1999 to 2015; enacted reforms to prevent people from losing their health insurance when changing jobs or being denied coverage due to pre-existing conditions, and to allow people with disabilities to work without losing their health coverage; and raised childhood immunization rates to all time high and provided health coverage to millions of uninsured children.
- We had cleaned over 500 toxic waste dumps, improved air quality by setting the toughest smog and soot standards ever and protected tens of millions of acres of public lands.
- We'd won important victories for children and families like passage of the Family and Medical Leave Act, targeted middle class tax cuts, an increase in the minimum wage and expansion of the Earned Income Tax Credit.
- We had concluded more than 270 market opening agreements. Opening foreign markets has contributed to the 62 percent increase in American exports since 1992.
- Under the leadership of Vice President Gore's National Performance Review, the United States eliminated over 16,000 pages of federal regulations and reduced the federal workforce by 375,000 federal employees.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Casey at the Bat
The Outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville nine that day:
The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play.
And then when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.
A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, if only Casey could get but a whack at that -
We'd put up even money, now, with Casey at the bat.
But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake,
And the former was a lulu and the latter was a cake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Casey's getting to the bat.
But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Blake, the much despis-ed, tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was Jimmy safe at second and Flynn a-hugging third.
Then from 5,000 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.
There was ease in Casey's manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Casey's bearing and a smile on Casey's face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Casey at the bat.
Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Casey's eye, a sneer curled Casey's lip.
And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped-
"That ain't my style," said Casey. "Strike one," the umpire said.
From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
"Kill him! Kill the umpire!" shouted someone on the stand;
And it's likely they'd a-killed him had not Casey raised his hand.
With a smile of Christian charity great Casey's visage shown;
He stilled the rising tumult; he made the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew;
But Casey still ignored it, and the umpire said, "Strike two."
"Fraud!" cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered fraud;
But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Casey wouldn't let that ball go by again.
The sneer is gone from Casey's lip, his teeth are clenched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's blow.
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville - mighty Casey has struck out.
Friday, August 08, 2008
John McCain's $520 Ferragamo Shoes
Some Things Never Retire
Minivan - This past Wednesday, I took our Honda minivan in for 75,000 schedule maintenance (it acually is 79,000 miles). We also had clattering in the air conditioner fan. Total: Over $600. Some stuff had fallen into the fan, making the noise.
Station Wagon - My wife usually drives our 89,000 mile station wagon. Last month, we drove the wagon to New Hampshire to visit friends for a few days. While we were there, we developed a slow leak in one tire. We took it to Shaw's. They pulled a nail out and patched the tire for nit much money. The car was having a little trouble starting; it cranked a while before starting up. We figured we'd fix it when we got home to Virginia. So, we drove from New Hampshire to Vermont to visit other friends. The starting problem didn't get any worse.
Then, after a few days, we began to drive home. Vermont. New York State. New Jersey. We were on the Garden State Parkway. My wife was driving, and the car started to lose power. With great effort, she steered it to an exit. AAA towed us to a Volvo dealer service center, closed because it was Sunday. Luckily, we have cousins nearby, who picked us up and took us in for the night.
The Volvo garage was overbooked and didn't get to the car until two days later. Meanwhile, we'd borrowed a car and driven home to Virginia. On Wednesday, my son and I drove back to New Jersey to pick up the station wagon. Its electronic throttle had gone bad. Total: Almost $900.
The wagon started up pretty well, and my son and I drove it back home from New Jersey to Virginia the same day. After we got it home, the starting up problem happened again.
We took the car to our local Volvo garage, then on Friday left on a pre-planned bus (thank goodness) trip to New York City for a few days. On Monday, our son reported to us the bad news by phone. The rear fuel pump had gone bad on the wagon. The part had to be ordered; the gas tank had to be removed to get to it. Total: Another $2,500.
So a week or two later, we're back home from our July travels and the coolant level light on the station wagon goes on; and stays on. We add coolant to the reservoir; and a couple of days later the light comes on again. This past Monday, I take the car back to the Volvo garage. Cracked coolant reservoir, plus miscellaneous other repairs. Total: About $400.
And, by the way, the service consultant says, did you notice your rear tires are getting bald. Took it to the tire store that afternoon. They recommend alignment, balancing, rotation. Total: About $400. Also, the light on the edge of the passenger door cracked and fell off.
Sedan - Remember we have a sedan as well? That's also a Volvo, with 90,000 miles on it. We'venoticed some hissing from the brake pedal lately and planned to have thet checked. Then, two dayts ago, my son was driving the car a couple of blocks from home, when the gears started grinding, and the car wouldn't move. He was able to get it to the side of the road. AAA saved us again, with a tow to the Volvo garage. Dead transmission. Dead. No re-built. Dead. Total estimate: $5,000. It would take 22 hours of expensive labor to replace it. Oh, by the way, the brake hissing? Broken brake booster. Total: Another $1,100.
So, it's been quite a few weeks. We are seriously considering not fixing the sedan and looking into some kind of trade, donation, or combination thereof, and getting a new or certified pre-owned car. What a way to enter retirement!
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Singing Telegram for Peter
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Paris Hilton for President 2008
It would be nice to win the Lottery. Failing that, anyone want to hire me to write? Look things up for you? Write humor? Make your lunch? Review contract bids or grant applications?